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Turkey Day Gratitude

by Scott Macmann


As I chopped celery at the counter, my little one, Tom, climbed onto a stool facing the kitchen island, plopped his elbows down, and declared that he was both bored and hungry.

I reached over to a big ceramic bowl, plucked out a small hoom, and flipped it to him. It squirmed and wriggled, and Tom protested.

“Ew, it’s raw.”

“It’s not raw,” I said. “It’s fresh.”

“I don’t want it.”

Children. “Very well.” I turned from my chore, snatched up the tasty tidbit, and swallowed it whole. Mm-mmm! “Needs a little salt.”


Looking at the clock, it was time to stuff everything together. Thanksgiving dinner required precise timing. Tradition demanded it.

I tilted my head as a scold. “Don’t say that. What if your grandma and grandpa hear you?”

“Hear what?” Grandpa trotted into the room with his enormous belly leading the way. Grandma and her juicy belly followed.

Tom jumped down, and hugged his grandparents. “I hate raw hooms.”

Grandpa laughed, and kneeled. “Just between you and me, I like them cooked too.”

Grandma waddled past him to come help me. “Males,” she said. “They are all alike.”

“Tom,” I said. “Have you decided what you’re grateful for?”

My little one looked to grandpa with his mouth open.

“Don’t worry,” said grandpa. “Come along, Tom.”


Our Thanksgiving table held a sumptuous feast of delights. Reaching out to each other around the table, I basked in the warmth and convivial comfort of it all.

“What are you grateful for, Tom?” I asked.

“I’m grateful we’re all here together for Thanksgiving.”

I smiled. “Well, I’m grateful for our ancestors, and the hooms who injected them with drugs, steroids, and genetically modified our species. Ages ago, it was the hooms that ate us for Thanksgiving.”




Author Bio

A Distinguished Military Graduate of the University of Cincinnati, Scott Macmann spent fifteen years in the infantry and military intelligence helping win the Cold War before he’d had enough. Today his quiet life includes writing fiction, local writer groups, and helping others learn more about the writing craft. On occasion, he has been touched by the muse. Scott has one published novel. Find out more here.


Sue Marie St. Lee · November 26, 2020 at 9:23 pm

Whoa! Did not see the end coming! Well done!

umairmirxa · November 27, 2020 at 9:37 am

I’m with Tom and Grandpa. I hate raw hooms too! xD

Jim Bates · November 28, 2020 at 6:14 pm

Fabulous!! Very creative, Scott. Well done 🙂

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